ONE MAMA’S BUMP DIARY (weeks 23-25)

baby bump soft

The bump is big. Yes, yes it is… I am growing a human.

My inner critic has been harassing me a little this week, despite the fact that I am not enormous or about to keel over with obesity but we all have these moments of self-doubt, (don’t we?) and for some reason mine was this week. I’ve not been eating as well as I should have. I’ve had far too many cravings for ludicrous coloured ice creams dipped with hundreds and thousands of hundreds and thousands and I’ve been eating a LOT of chocolate not to mention drinking a gallon of ribena each day! so all in all I think we can safely say “Mama’s got a sweet tooth!”

Aside from that, I also haven’t been sleeping that well as I can’t seem to get comfy now I’m that little bigger and feeling rather more cumbersome. I’m a little snappy with my husband and have already started to feel a little bit like I am nesting. He is well accustomed to it now it’s round too but I still feel bad. Hope he knows it’s the hormones and not actually ‘me’. I think he does (fingers crossed).

But it has been a good week for self-loving though and this is what we are going to talk about in my “Glow with the Flow” session this week.

Here are my self love activities that I can tick off:

SELF-LOVE

given myself about 4 facials in a fortnight. Cleanse, tone and moisturise. I use a bamboo flannel and take 10 minutes to really relax and treat myself.
gone to the woods. Freddie and I go pretty much every Friday. He loves it, I love it and being outside in nature does wonders for the soul – fact.
looked though old photos of Freddie and reminded myself how far I’ve come as his mama and what I’ve learned along the way.
taken a load of naps – the best being yesterday’s 2 and a half hour one and I still managed bed at normal time! Thank you my man!
had a coffee with fellow mama. So good to be able to share this world of motherhood
read my book (this is such a rarity but o so good for the soul!)
chatted on the phone to bestest friends – nothing better.
went swimming in my PJs – not quite as liberating as skinny dipping but fun all the same!
did yoga and balanced with the best of them – gave myself the kudos!
cooked, baked, sewed made smoothies and scrapbooked!
My little one and I have also crafted together but will be writing about that in a separate post soon. ( Easter crafts)

I hope this inspires you to do a little of all the things you love and see how much better you feel in mind and body.

Going Wild

Going wild – a 30 day journey of discovery in the Dorset countryside with mama and baby

The month of June, when summer finally arrives and the countryside is a buzz with nature and the weather entices you outside on a daily basis so what better way than to spend your days outdoors appreciating the beauty of Mother Nature and really enjoying what she has to offer. Having spotted something online about the #30dayswild campaign hosted by The wildlife trusts across the UK, I thought it would be fun to challenge myself and see what I could find and do that involved nature and being outside. It’s hard sometimes to find the motivation to get about and do things especially when you’ve just landed on planet Motherhood but I can not express how therapeutic being outside with your baby is. Not only will you feel great your little one will be encapsulated by nature and experiencing his/her new world first hand with you!

30 days sounds like a long time but it went so quickly and it was amazing some of the things we got up to. Being accountable on social media has its plus points for sure. Mainly it was a chance to really stop and look around and to really see what nature there was right outside our front door, but during the month I realised how much it did for my wellbeing and no doubt little Freddie’s too. He’s always been a lover of the outdoors right from the start when we would go walking everyday and watch the changing of seasons but now, to be able to share in the delights of his surroundings is a real joy. As he is grows, he can now notice the movement of the butterflies cruising from bud to bud and hear the bees buzzing. He loves to watch the trees move in the wind and looks up to see the clouds. I’ve found myself wanting to learn more about what we’ve seen in the hope when he is old enough to ask me “mama, what’s that?” I’ll be able to respond confidently and be able to teach him about the wildlife around us. We’ll see though….

I hope my posts on Instagram might have inspired some of you mamas out there to step outside with your seedlings and share with them the beauty that is all around us, both in cities and in the countryside. I know I’ll be taking part again even if it’s just to nourish the soul. You can find more of my wildlife posts @MrsStrongman. Children remember their experiences, we all love to make memories and so this family is staying wild!

What I’d give a new mum

A couple of my friends are expecting soon and due to our individual geography it is not going to be possible to be there in person, so this blog post is for them and for all those of you about to embark on motherhood for the first time. I just want you to know ladies I am always at the end of a phone / computer / on WhatsApp / Insta message, whatever time of day or night. This is not to burst your gorgeous pregnancy bubble at all, just to expand your thoughts to after the birth.

With May being Mental Health month and this week focusing on Maternal Mental health, I thought I could share what I would give a new mum.

One day you were you. A sassy, strong female striding pavements, swishy hair, lush clothes and with your s*** together. (This was never me by the way but you get the gist…) Then one day you go into labour and a little time later you have a tiny human who needs you like no one has ever needed you before and you haven’t yet had time to process this. Your body has been incredible but it is so changed and you don’t recognise yourself. There is no time to process this though as your baby is crying for food and you are figuring out how to attach this little bundle of flesh to your boob. Why am I struggling? This is something I thought would just happen. Isn’t it the most natural thing in the world? Ouch it hurts, am I doing it right? What do I do now? How do I know when to feed him? When do I change him? How will I know he is full? When should I put him down? Should I just keep him close? What if he gets cold? How will I know? Does he know who I am? Is this love I’m feeling? Why am I so anxious? Why am I feeling full of worry? Your body is awash with a cocktail concoction of hormones and you suddenly realise life will never be the same again.

My gift to you is COURAGE…

COURAGE to realise you won’t know everything at first and you will be learning continuly but it does get easier and you are doing a great job so far.

COURAGE to ask for help when you need it, you will need it and ask for lots! There is no shame in this!

COURAGE to make mistakes and then to be kind to yourself when you make them. We all do and you need to be kind to yourself. Without making mistakes we can’t learn so embrace them. There is a lot of adjusting to do.

COURAGE to accept you will feel differently on different days. Some will be really tough and other days will be dreamy. It’s all part of the ebb and flow.

COURAGE to appreciate that babies have their own agenda and you won’t always be able to tell their cries apart (took me nearly 6 months) they won’t always sleep when you want them too and sometimes they will just be uncomfortable.

COURAGE to trust yourself and your body. You know you and you know your baby plus your baby knows who you are. He/She heard your heartbeat as they grew safe in your womb and you’ve already been getting to know each other for 9 months. Have confidence in Mother Nature, she knows her s***.

COURAGE to believe whatever you are feeling (happy, sad, lonely, overwhelmed, discouraged, scared, excited, overjoyed, delighted, fretful, anxious, calm) will pass and it will be OK. There were times I cried ALL day and was overwhelmed with a mixture of intense emotions and other days I was a bag of happiness. It can be frightening but embrace it, you have just performed a total miracle and sometimes there are no words to express how we feel.

COURAGE to step outside into the big wide world with the most precious thing you own and get a few breathes of fresh air every day. This is such a good remedy and I walked everyday with Freddie.

COURAGE to say no to visitors if you are feeling overwhelmed but COURAGE to have visitors too to help you and make you a cup of tea! Most will bring cake or biscuits some might even bring a roast chicken!

COURAGE to rest and take time to sleep during the day when baby is napping (20 minutes is better than nothing) and your baby will be fine with his/her dad or other family members. You need to recharge your energy levels and let your body heal.

COURAGE to try different things to help you be the best mum you can be. Dummies, and formula milk are not the devil’s work – there is a reason why supermarkets have aisles of the stuff!

COURAGE to talk to other mums and be open. Listen to their experiences and share your own. It takes a village. Have the COURAGE to listen to yourself over anyone else and COURAGE to do things differently. Do what works for you.

COURAGE to step out of the room and take a couple of deep breaths. I used to hum as the vibrations helped to calm me (its a yoga trick). 10 long seconds could be all you need to relax those shoulders and gain composure.

COURAGE to love yourself. You are the most important person to your baby so self-care is paramount.

COURAGE to know that you are enough.

“You got this mama!”

You are Queen of your own Kingdom!

Cracking Crafts for Kids

Keep the little ones Eggcited with some arty activities this Easter

Be an EGG-stra good EGG and keep your little chicks EGG-stremly busy with these CRACKING crafts:

Cute finger stamping card making – this is a relatively stress free choice of activity as it only involves fingers, thumbs, a stamp pad ( ideally pink and yellow) and card. Check out Sarah’s how to guide for something EGG-specially good!
Pom Pom Easter egg pictures – are a great way to keep painting less messy and are super for little hands who are just mastering their fine motor skills. Once it is completed you can hang them up and make your own Easter bunting. All you need is : a paper plate, pompoms, clothes pegs and paper. I would also recommend an Easter egg template you can prep for your children too. The older ones might like to use cotton buds instead to make a more intricate design.
Baking Mini Egg cookies – Why wouldn’t you?! I am most definitely going to be trying these over the Easter period. Clare’s mini tots page has a very easy and perfect recipe.

4. Salt-dough ornaments– are a fantastic make that you can keep bringing out year after year to decorate your home. I personally like to have an Easter tree on display around this time of year and you can even bring them out at Christmas if your tree is looking a little bare! Suitable for all ages so a win win! All instructions can be found here

5. Washi Tape Easter Eggs – MESS FREE! YIPPEE! – Washi tape is THE best invention. A way to add colour to things with zero mess. You don’t even need scissors as the tape can be ripped with fingers! Get your little one to decorate to their hearts content and smile with glee knowing all is easy to clean up! All info can be found here

I hope this gives you a little inspiration this Easter and I would love to see your makes so why not follow me and use the #onemamaskingdom on Instagram and share what you are up to!

The day I became a Mother…

It frightened me. I mean truly scared me with such intensity that I could not put it into words. It was more than any fear I had felt before. Worse than the fear of jumping off rocks into the sea, worse than riding your bike with no hands down a hill, worse than singing in front of people, worse than starting a new school, worse than acting on stage to a theatre full of strangers and worse than swimming in the Devils pool at the top of Victorian Falls (Although I do believe it was a similar feeling to this). The day I became a mother was the day I realised what mothers really are and what women are capable of. The sudden responsibility that hits you like a freight train. There is no manual, no guidebook or mini pamphlet to get you going. It is wham, Bam and now you are a Mam! It is now over to you to protect this human from all that life throws at them. To know what to do to care for this little being. Yesterday you were ‘You’, an individual with a purpose and with your s*** together (Or so I thought) but in an instance it will never be the same again. Everything changed; my mind, body and soul and just like that I needed to be mothered, despite, in that moment I was now a mother myself.

Alfred (Freddie) Strongman was born at 12:31 during a Perseid meteor shower, unexpectedly on the living room floor with the crew of two ambulances, as witnesses and a midwife who arrived 10 minutes before he arrived. My labour lasted 4 hours and 5 minutes, from start to finish, and it was so speedy that we went to hospital to get checked over and when we came home my mom was waiting. There are no words that I can write to explain how she helped me in those first few weeks, I’m not sure we even talked much at all she was just there, helping me, showing me, teaching me, caring for me, mothering me. She was an angel and my husband was my hero and there is no way I can ever thank her enough.

So for this mother’s day I wanted to share what my mother did for me when I became a mother for the first time:

she cleaned the kitchen cupboards
she made me egg sandwiches even when I wasn’t hungry
she helped me breastfeed
she washed and bathed me and helped me to get dressed
she cooked for us all
she cleaned and tidied
she drove to France and dropped off my step-dad and then drove all the way back in the same day because she just knew I needed her.
she made me sleep in the afternoon – even for just 20 minutes
she slept on the nursery floor and woke me every-time Freddie woke up for feeding so I could get maximum sleep (I was so worried that he was in his own room because we just didn’t have the space for him to sleep in with us but ‘they say’ the baby must sleep in your room for the first 6 months). She also slept on the sofa whenever she visited as we did not have a spare room.
she made me so many drinks to keep me hydrated
she reassured me constantly
she told me how amazing I was doing – ALL the time!
she made me go for walks and get out of the house
she burped Freddie in her special way (we just didn’t/don’t have her bosom!)

And these were just a handful of deeds she did. She did so much more.

I can honestly say I have never felt so much love for her. I can barely remember if we talked or spoke to one another. My hormones were raging, I was still in shock and my brain was trying to catch up with my body about that fact we had just given birth to a baby on the wooden living room floor. But, I do know that without her love it would have been so much harder. I can appreciate it now, the thread that is so strong between mother and child, an invisible force, intangible but palpable. It will be there for forever. To make a human, grow and nurture it inside your body and then love that small person; the journey is full of alchemy and the love is like nothing I have ever felt before and at the age of 32 I can honestly say I felt it move from my mom to me , like both ends of a ribbon had been tied together. It feels like an exhale of breath signifying a true understanding – we are now part of the same club. It is still frightening but nearly 7 months in and I absolutely LOVE being Freddie’s mama. I feel so much stronger and confident and have learnt so much. I am certain there will always be an element of fear and slight self-doubt but in the same way I repeated my affirmations before birth, I am repeating some now:

‘I am enough’

‘You got this Mama’

‘Breathe and be calm’

To all the mums, watching over us, in heaven, on earth, near or far, new or old, step-mums, mother figures, grandmothers, mums- to- be….. you are, have been and will always be the most amazing people. Today is your day.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

A mother’s love lasts forever and its bond can not be broken.