ONE MAMA’S BUMP DIARY

An honest insight into my pregnancy journey second time round… sharing my experiences, thoughts and happenings in week 22 of growing my seedling of society.

BENDY ANKLES AND BASHED ELBOWS

Hey ladies,

So here it is….the first installment of my “One Mama’s Pregnancy Diary” for baby number 2 due at the end of June. I wish I started logging this all sooner but I didn’t so we’ll just have to pick up here halfway in with a little look back to the first part of baby growing.

The idea just came to me having spotted something on ‘the Gram’ and whilst in the shower the other morning I suddenly thought…hang on a sec – why not document this journey into motherhood take 2 and share with other mamas-to-be. I hope it kinda acts as a friend along the way and reminds you that you are not alone in all things pregnancy, birth and babies and that we are all in it together.

Obviously, these are just my experiences, thoughts and feelings so would love to hear your take on things and thoughts too.

FIRST TRIMESTER

This time round I was a lot more sick. I mean like pop the tot in the highchair and race to the bathroom each morning sick, which was no fun let me tell you. But hey ho it was what it was and thankfully I am out the other side and since my 12 week scan I’ve started to feel a lot more normal. It took a while though. I know I am lucky to have only just experienced a few weeks of it whilst others really do suffer greatly through their pregnancy so feeling grateful about that.

I also popped waaaay earlier than last time and I had to get out the maternity collection very quickly out the loft as things were a little uncomfortable pretty early on. I say “I” but really it was my husband. Our bodies are amazing and it was like mine shifted into baby making gear and stepped on the accelerator. I’m 22 weeks now but feel and look about 28 weeks!

bump comparison
Women are amazing.

SECOND TRIMESTER

WEEK 22

BODY

So here we are 22 weeks in and I have suddenly gone all clumsy. I’ve dropped glasses, spilled food, tripped over shoes and banged my elbow on a door frame. I am not clumsy by nature so this lack of spatial awareness is causing a little frustration in my day to day life. Anyone else experienced or experiencing something similar? I am hoping my yoga classes will help with this though. By focusing on balances and breathing I hope to get a grip on this wobbliness but if not  – o well I’ll just go with it! Another thing I’ve noticed is that my ligaments are loosening. I learnt about this the first time round. Your body prepares your body for birth by loosening our tendons and ligaments allowing for more freedom of movement and flexibility but when you are not expecting it, it can be rather shocking to hear your hip joint in surround sound and see your ankles gain 360 degree swivel space!

ALL THE FEELS

Seeing baby on the screen at 20 weeks was amazing and gorgeous. We weren’t allowed to bring Freddie so left him with a babysitter for a couple of hours so DaDa could meet baby number 2 too. The sonographer was amazing and very thorough in all her checks. She said the heart was a textbook viewing and she wished she had her student with her to show her – good work little one!

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It is definitely true what they say that in the second trimester you do get a burst of energy and I have certainly felt that! I’m feeling a lot less tired this week having walked 60KM around Rome last week in 3 days!  ha but I think the thing that is keeping me going with my little tot is my gorgeous afternoon nap! A total saviour and so necessary to remain calm and human. So I would totally recommend all pregnant ladies to rest when they can. Easier  said than done  – I appreciate that but the amount of energy your little seedling is sapping from you means you need to recuperate more so than you think so that’s this week’s optional homework: see if you can take an afternoon nap for 20 mins each day. Let me know how you get on.

CRAVINGS

I’ve been eating a lot of S***. Can’t help it  – I’m attracted to the sugary delights of chocolate puddings and mainly doughnuts. O…and chips! Anyone else ever made an emergency craving stop off at McDonalds?! Shameful I know but needs must when growing life! I am trying to be better by drinking fruit juices, taking my vitamins, eating lots of veg in the evening and having a lighter lunch but who am I kidding? Sometimes we just need a fix. I hope I am not alone in this!

It always start so well with the best intentions but sometimes we just have to listen to our bodies.

DOWNTIME

Having started “Glow with the Flow” sessions I have really enjoyed putting some poses to paper and then bring them to the mat to share with other mamas-to-be and I am feeling really good about it all. We seem to have created a lovely group so that has been a highlight. The other highlight has been watching “Workin’ Mums” on NetFlix which has had me laughing and crying. It is a snap shot into many different women’s lives post babies and the honesty and rawness is getting to me on many levels. Life does change and we have to try and accept that and embrace it if we can despite the reality being much harder than we might think.

TODDLER TIME

freddie and baby

This week my little tot and I have been having lots of fun hanging out. We went to the beach, enjoyed the sunshine, been swimming,  seen multiple diggers and tractors (his favourite 2 things at the minute) as well as playtime in the woods, building towers and even looking around nurseries.  Going to elaborate in more detail about those trips in a separate post I think.

What have you been up to?

Lulworth

Thank you so much for reading this far and I’ll check in next week with the next entry. Please find me on Instagram @onemamaskingdom. I love connecting with new people so would love to hear from you.

I hope you have a great weekend

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C A M P B E S T I V A L

An insight into festival life this summer, with a baby in tow ….

It’s been a week back from the fun fest…..

Some thought us mad taking our 11 month old son with us to a festival, others thought us brave, some gave us an impressed nod and others thought we were totally crazy but my husband and I had never been to a festival… so when your mate says let’s meet at Camp Bestival 2018, I’m working and can sort you some tickets…. and then someone else says they have craft work for you and want you to help out with am exclusive private breakfast gathering, We were hardly going to say no to the hottest family festival around!!!

The theme this year at Camp Bestival was “Set Sail” and I couldn’t wait to get involved! Dress up is something I love to do, stemming from my love of theatre and I couldn’t wait to plan my outfits! I thought I’d down well with my look but my goodness were there some fabulous sights! People really went to town and I figured as long as you have something to give a little nod to the theme you’ll blend right in! I was of course anticipating lots of glitter and sparkle but I’ve never seen so many face gems and sparkly make up. It was like a glitter confetti gun exploded and everyone was like “shoot me, shoot me!”

Obviously being a festival organised by the very talented Rob Da Bank, I was expecting some great music but the line up was truly fantastic. There was such an eclectic mix of new/ fab music reverberating with crystal clarity around the Lulworth Estate as well as the awesome headliners, Rick Astly, Clean Bandit and some genuine favourites; The Cuban Brothers who bizarrely I remember gigged at Goldsmiths’ Club Sandwich! We picnicked on Friday afternoon right by the main stage and were treated to artists Dodi and Rae Morris. Both beautiful singer song writers with stunning voices, not out of place on your Spotify playlists and for a while we revelled in the joys of listening to live music al fresco and it was bliss. There was so much to see and do with such a variety of genres and activities you could never get through all of it in a weekend. But that’s the beauty… you’ll always leave wanting more.

The food options were also amazing and at times it was hard to decide which stall to go to. There was everything from Pad Thai, organic burgers, fresh oysters, burritos, vegan establishments, sushi, and Ghanaian cuisine to name only a few. A serious feast fest known as the Feast Collective and perfect when you all fancy different things for lunch/dinner. We enjoyed the thumping tunes from DJ BBQ and his 21 hour smoked pulled pork but perhaps not the place to head towards if you are vegan.

Camp Bestival really was a feast for the senses and the most exciting, enthralling, magical, enchanting, dazzling, intoxicating weekend ever that tired us out (in a good way) and meant we all slept for 10+ hours after we made a swift escape before the storm hit and the rest of the festival was cancelled.

It was also the first time we have ever camped with a baby and we definitely learnt a few things this weekend when it comes to packing and being festival virgins! Can you ever really be prepared for camping in 40mph winds with an 11 month old?

Here are our top 10 tips for camping at a festival with a babe in arms:

1️⃣ 🎒PACK LIGHT – you most definitely won’t need everything you have packed and I know this because I packed for every possible eventuality. I can’t help it now I am a mama – it’s like I’m in competition with myself to be ready for anything. However when your pitch is 4 fields away from your car and your poor husband is doing shuttle runs with 5 times his body weight and he says to you “I’ve only bought the essentials some things I’ve left”, you nod (pray he has bought the pillows) and realise that you can survive with the bare minimum.

2️⃣ BUT BE PREPARED – still make sure you have your rain mac, sunnies, suncream and boots to hand because you just never know when the weather will change.

3️⃣ 🏡HOME COMFORTS – dummies, familiar foods, toys, books, blankets it’s amazing how little ones relate to things they recognise especially if you are sleeping in a tent for the first time. We took our travel cot with the hope Freddie would sleep easy.

4️⃣ 💰CASH – sometimes it’s just good to have some on you especially when to rent a trolley you might need a large deposit.

5️⃣ 👶🏼🍼 BABY GEAR – you need to keep Baby warm at night so don’t forget the warm sleeping bag. Sleep suits and vests are great to layer up and it’s worth packing an extra blanket. Ear defenders are also a must for little ears to protect them from the loud sounds of a music festival! Don’t forget the dummy and ready made milk and I packed pouch food to make it simple.

6️⃣ 📆 PLANNING vs SPONTANEITY – we didn’t plan to see a particular artist, or event this year as we just wanted to get a feel for what a festival is like so we wandered around taking in all the sights and sounds. Next time though we think we might read through the programme in more detail and make a mini plan of the things we’d like to see/ do/ visit etc. We were lucky enough to see some great stuff though just by wandering aimlessly around and that, I guess, is the beauty of a festival!

7️⃣ 📝 ESSENTIAL ITEMS:

* Trolley – to cart everything including your child/ children (lots of families have them and decorate them too! Not sure how great they would be in mud though.

* Torch -you will need one. We took head torches as easy to carry and I like to be hands free but we also found our tent lantern really useful for those midnight nappy changes.

* Bin liners – for everything – keeps the tent organised, everything cleared away and when you leave you’ll feel good for having kept Britain tidy!

* Bucket – I hate to admit it but sometimes when you have to go you have got to go and the toilets are just too far away and when there are people all around……only a bucket and a bag will do!

* Toilet roll – for in the campsite but also during the day at the festival when the toilets have usually run out of toilet roll.

* Rucksack – to carry all essential items for the day without having to head back to the tent.

8️⃣ 🦄 FANCY DRESS – there is no hiding from it I’m afraid and anything goes, So my advice is embrace it and immersed yourself in the glitterati! Don’t forget a mirror so you can actually see where you are putting the gems and remember the face wipes if you like to sleep fresh – although part of the festi vibe is to rock that glitter for as long as possible! Each year there is a theme too so make sure you keep up to date and I like to do a few searches on the internet to get a little inspo!

9️⃣ 💧WATER – I’d suggest to take your own water bottle that you can fill up on site but also bring a couple of bottles of water to keep on the tent. You never know when you might have to wash or warm some milk. Plus remember to drink lots – festivals are very thirsty work as you do not want a dehydration head ache!

🔟 💤 NAP – key. We were not really there long enough but it would be my top tip. Give yourself and your little ones time to nap and recharge before heading back out into the craziness… we headed back to the tent for tea around 4/30ish to keep a little routine with babe but find what works for your family.

I hope this proves it can be done and gives you confidence. It was an adventure but one we won’t forget!

Going Wild

Going wild – a 30 day journey of discovery in the Dorset countryside with mama and baby

The month of June, when summer finally arrives and the countryside is a buzz with nature and the weather entices you outside on a daily basis so what better way than to spend your days outdoors appreciating the beauty of Mother Nature and really enjoying what she has to offer. Having spotted something online about the #30dayswild campaign hosted by The wildlife trusts across the UK, I thought it would be fun to challenge myself and see what I could find and do that involved nature and being outside. It’s hard sometimes to find the motivation to get about and do things especially when you’ve just landed on planet Motherhood but I can not express how therapeutic being outside with your baby is. Not only will you feel great your little one will be encapsulated by nature and experiencing his/her new world first hand with you!

30 days sounds like a long time but it went so quickly and it was amazing some of the things we got up to. Being accountable on social media has its plus points for sure. Mainly it was a chance to really stop and look around and to really see what nature there was right outside our front door, but during the month I realised how much it did for my wellbeing and no doubt little Freddie’s too. He’s always been a lover of the outdoors right from the start when we would go walking everyday and watch the changing of seasons but now, to be able to share in the delights of his surroundings is a real joy. As he is grows, he can now notice the movement of the butterflies cruising from bud to bud and hear the bees buzzing. He loves to watch the trees move in the wind and looks up to see the clouds. I’ve found myself wanting to learn more about what we’ve seen in the hope when he is old enough to ask me “mama, what’s that?” I’ll be able to respond confidently and be able to teach him about the wildlife around us. We’ll see though….

I hope my posts on Instagram might have inspired some of you mamas out there to step outside with your seedlings and share with them the beauty that is all around us, both in cities and in the countryside. I know I’ll be taking part again even if it’s just to nourish the soul. You can find more of my wildlife posts @MrsStrongman. Children remember their experiences, we all love to make memories and so this family is staying wild!

What I’d give a new mum

A couple of my friends are expecting soon and due to our individual geography it is not going to be possible to be there in person, so this blog post is for them and for all those of you about to embark on motherhood for the first time.  I just want you to know ladies I am always at the end of a phone / computer / on WhatsApp / Insta message, whatever time of day or night. This is not to burst your gorgeous pregnancy bubble at all, just to expand your thoughts to after the birth.

With May being Mental Health month and this week focusing on  Maternal Mental health, I thought I could share what I would give a new mum.

One day you were you. A sassy, strong female striding pavements, swishy hair, lush clothes and with your s*** together. (This was never me by the way but you get the gist…) Then one day you go into labour and a little time later you have a tiny human who needs you like no one has ever needed you before and you haven’t yet had time to process this. Your body has been incredible but it is so changed and you don’t recognise yourself. There is no time to process this though as your baby is crying for food and you are figuring out how to attach this little bundle of flesh to your boob. Why am I struggling? This is something I thought would just happen. Isn’t it the most natural thing in the world? Ouch it hurts, am I doing it right? What do I do now? How do I know when to feed him? When do I change him? How will I know he is full? When should I put him down? Should I just keep him close? What if he gets cold? How will I know? Does he know who I am? Is this love I’m feeling? Why am I so anxious? Why am I feeling full of worry? Your body is awash with a cocktail concoction of hormones and you suddenly realise life will never be the same again.

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My gift to you is COURAGE…

COURAGE to realise you won’t know everything at first and you will be learning continuly but it does get easier and you are doing a great job so far.

COURAGE to ask for help when you need it, you will need it and ask for lots! There is no shame in this!

COURAGE to make mistakes and then to be kind to yourself when you make them. We all do and you need to be kind to yourself. Without making mistakes we can’t learn so embrace them. There is a lot of adjusting to do.

COURAGE to accept you will feel differently on different days. Some will be really tough and other days will be dreamy. It’s all part of the ebb and flow.

COURAGE to appreciate that babies have their own agenda and you won’t always be able to tell their cries apart (took me nearly 6 months) they won’t always sleep when you want them too and sometimes they will just be uncomfortable.

COURAGE to trust yourself and your body. You know you and you know your baby plus your baby knows who you are. He/She heard your heartbeat as they grew safe in your womb and you’ve already been getting to know each other for 9 months. Have confidence in Mother Nature, she knows her s***.

COURAGE to believe whatever you are feeling (happy, sad, lonely, overwhelmed, discouraged, scared, excited, overjoyed, delighted, fretful, anxious, calm) will pass and it will be OK.  There were times I cried ALL day and was overwhelmed with a mixture of intense emotions and other days I was a bag of happiness. It can be frightening but embrace it, you have just performed a total miracle and sometimes there are no words to express how we feel.

COURAGE to step outside into the big wide world with the most precious thing you own and get a few breathes of fresh air every day. This is such a good remedy and I walked everyday with Freddie.

COURAGE to say no to visitors if you are feeling overwhelmed but COURAGE to have visitors too to help you and make you a cup of tea! Most will bring cake or biscuits some might even bring a roast chicken!

COURAGE to rest and take time to sleep during the day when baby is napping (20 minutes is better than nothing) and your baby will be fine with his/her dad or other family members. You need to recharge your energy levels and let your body heal.

COURAGE to try different things to help you be the best mum you can be. Dummies, and formula milk are not the devil’s work  – there is a reason why supermarkets have aisles of the stuff!

COURAGE to talk to other mums and be open. Listen to their experiences and share your own. It takes a village. Have the COURAGE to listen to yourself over anyone else and COURAGE to do things differently. Do what works for you.

COURAGE to step out of the room and take a couple of deep breaths. I used to hum as the vibrations helped to calm me (its a yoga trick). 10 long seconds could be all you need to relax those shoulders and gain composure.

COURAGE to love yourself. You are the most important person to your baby so self-care is paramount.

COURAGE to know that you are enough.

“You got this mama!”

You are Queen of your own Kingdom!

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The Hospital bag

What you REALLY need to pack …

So, when I was pregnant with Freddie I must have packed my hospital bag about 10 times. It felt like a ritual and a very important one. I was packing a bag for an event that I had never experienced, for a place I’d never been to and packing for a person I’d never met. It was weird and in the end I didn’t even need half the stuff as Baby was born on the living room floor!

But you never truly know the course of your birth so here is a list of things I packed and probably would have found very useful! I’ve also been brutally honest as open.

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FOR YOU

  • Those pants! You know the ones I mean… TENA. They will be your best friends right after birth and for a few weeks post baby whilst you heal. Buy more packs than you think you’ll need and trust me its part of giving birth that no one talks about but it’s fine (like a period but different) BUT with everything else going on you just want be prepared and not have to think about an unnecessary leakage.
  • eye mask – for the hospital/birthing centre when you need some zzzzz and it’s the height of sunny summer. Also very very useful when baby is here and you desperately need day time napping but hormones, worry, adrenaline and glaring sunshine prevent that from happening. If you get a silk one that will also add a little extra luxury.
  • comfy comfy floaty leisurewear – to be honest anything that makes you feel cosy is essential to help relax you and gives you a sense of normality!
  • slippers – for those cold toes and protection from the cold floor!
  • moisturiser -face & body kit because we all like our skin to be hydrated, don’t we?
  • face water spritzer – This may seem a little extravagant but I was so hot in August and this was an insant little cool down
  • flannel – they say a warm flannel to your face can calm you – anything is worth a try.
  • book – who knows when you’ll have time to read but you might need a little escapism
  • iPad – for Netflix! This is also an essential tool for when breastfeeding in the depths of night – just make sure you find a good resting place for it or invest in a stand!
  • snacks – I wrote Tom (my husband) a whole list of goodies like nuts/ chocolate/ bananas 🍌
  • a drink  – my beverage of choice was Ribena, full of sweetness and berries and good for a quick sugar/energy rush!
  • A water bottle with a straw – water is the best medicine – easy to sip from and great when breastfeeding and not spilling on Baby
  • lip balm – all that breathing on the gas and air tube thing makes our lips dry.
  • headband/hair tie to keep hair off your face
  • lavender oil is a good relaxer but anything that smells of Home would be good / blanket/ pillow/ pregnancy pillow – comfort is key!
  • phone chargers, phone (obvs) and headphones
  • magazines and music
  • dressing gown (I packed a short one)
  • pjs/ nightie (button down front ones are the best choice made from cotton to keep you cool)
  • comfy knickers – think BIG  – Bridget Jones style super comfy in a size that fits and does not cut in!
  • hairbrush, toothbrush and mascara and concealer just to feel a little more human afterwards. You might want to pack a lovely smelling body wash too and don’t forget the deodorant! Having said that  – looking back I think I just wanted to smell like me at the time to help bond with little one. You don’t know how you’ll feel.
  • nipple cream – I used the Multi-Mam brand and it seems to help but here are a list of others. Personally I am a big fan of the Weleda products so next time I might try that one!
  • Breast Pads – you might not need them and who cares anyway if you hve leaky boobs – it happens but nice to be prepared.
  • clean outfit to wear home – please be comfortable. Your body has done something incredible and it’s needs time to heal. I remember feeling very delicate. I wore my pregnancy leggings and a loose and floaty top with easy access to boobs.

 

FOR BABY

  • 2/3 sleepsuits (onsies)
  • 2/3 vests
  • A small pack of newborn nappies
  • a couple of muslin squares. We used these bibs and I preferred them as they were smaller and very absorbent.
  • A pack of newborn wet wipes (Water Wipes are very good and very gentle – 99.9% water)
  • A hooded baby towel
  • a blanket – one with holes in – they are called Cellular blankets
  • 2 pairs of socks, a pair of scratch mittens (their nails are so sharp and grow really fast)
  • a hat
  • A dummy – I used these but there are other soothers out there so whether you love them or hate them I’d say for your own sanity don’t think of them as the devil!
  • car seat

I know what it’s like  – you want to pack every little outfit you received and all the other lovely things you have bought but your baby will be home before you know it, so try to keep your packing light and only take what you think you and your baby will really need. As you go on the journey you’ll figure out what things you need and you’ll want to have some spare pennies kept aside.

**Top Tip** Pack a separate baby bag for your little one so everything is easy to get hold of and pack your bag with your birth partner so they know where to find everything. It will help when you are desperate for lip balm and you can’t effectively describe what part of the bag it is in it will help!

Ideally you should have your bags packed when you are about 36 weeks but if you are like me you’ll be starting now (even if you are due in August!)edit

And don’t forget your Maternity notes and the camera!

I’d love to know what you packed in your bag or if you have any questions – get in touch onemamskingdom@gmail.com @onemamaskingdom

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Cracking Crafts for Kids

Keep the little ones Eggcited with some arty activities this Easter

Be an EGG-stra good EGG and keep your little chicks EGG-stremly busy with these CRACKING crafts:

  1. Cute finger stamping card making   –  this is a relatively stress free choice of activity as it only involves fingers, thumbs,  a stamp pad ( ideally pink and yellow) and card. Check out Sarah’s how to guide for something EGG-specially good!
  2. Pom Pom Easter egg pictures – are a great way to keep painting less messy and are super for little hands who are just mastering their fine motor skills. Once it is completed you can hang them up and make your own Easter bunting. All you need is : a paper plate, pompoms, clothes pegs and paper. I would also recommend an Easter egg template you can prep for your children too. The older ones might like to use cotton buds instead to make a more intricate design.
  3. Baking Mini Egg cookies  – Why wouldn’t you?! I am most definitely going to be trying these over the Easter period. Clare’s mini tots page has a very easy and perfect recipe.

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4. Salt-dough ornaments– are a fantastic make that you can keep bringing out year after year to decorate your home. I personally like to have an Easter tree on display around this time of year and you can even bring them out at Christmas if your tree is looking a little bare!  Suitable for all ages so a win win! All instructions can be found here
Easter Salt Dough Eggs Easter Salt Dough Eggs

5. Washi Tape Easter Eggs  – MESS FREE! YIPPEE!  – Washi tape is THE best invention. A way to add colour to things with zero mess. You don’t even need scissors as the tape can be ripped with fingers! Get your little one to decorate to their hearts content and smile with glee knowing all is easy to clean up! All info can be found here

covering easter eggs with washi tape, colorful easter eggs, washi tape

I hope this gives you a little inspiration this Easter and I would love to see your makes so why not follow me and use the #onemamaskingdom on Instagram and share what you are up to!

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The day I became a Mother…

It frightened me. I mean truly scared me with such intensity that I could not put it into words. It was more than any fear I had felt before. Worse than the fear of jumping off rocks into the sea, worse than riding your bike with no hands down a hill, worse than singing in front of people, worse than starting a new school, worse than acting on stage to a theatre full of strangers and worse than swimming in the Devils pool at the top of Victorian Falls (Although I do believe it was a similar feeling to this). The day I became a mother was the day I realised what mothers really are and what women are capable of. The sudden responsibility that hits you like a freight train. There is no manual, no guidebook or mini pamphlet to get you going. It is wham, Bam and now you are a Mam! It is now over to you to protect this human from all that life throws at them. To know what to do to care for this little being. Yesterday you were ‘You’, an individual with a purpose and with your s*** together (Or so I thought) but in an instance it will never be the same again. Everything changed; my mind, body and soul and just like that I needed to be mothered, despite, in that moment I was now a mother myself.

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Alfred (Freddie) Strongman was born at 12:31 during a Perseid meteor shower, unexpectedly on the living room floor with the crew of two ambulances, as witnesses and a midwife who arrived 10 minutes before he arrived. My labour lasted 4 hours and 5 minutes, from start to finish, and it was so speedy that we went to hospital to get checked over and when we came home my mom was waiting. There are no words that I can write to explain how she helped me in those first few weeks, I’m not sure we even talked much at all she was just there, helping me, showing me, teaching me, caring for me, mothering me. She was an angel and my husband was my hero and there is no way I can ever thank her enough.

So for this mother’s day I wanted to share what my mother did for me when I became a mother for the first time:

  • she cleaned the kitchen cupboards
  • she made me egg sandwiches even when I wasn’t hungry
  • she helped me breastfeed
  • she washed and bathed me and helped me to get dressed
  • she cooked for us all
  • she cleaned and tidied
  • she drove to France and dropped off my step-dad and then drove all the way back in the same day because she just knew I needed her.
  • she made me sleep in the afternoon – even for just 20 minutes
  • she slept on the nursery floor and woke me every-time Freddie woke up for feeding so I could get maximum sleep  (I was so worried that he was in his own room because we just didn’t have the space for him to sleep in with us but ‘they say’ the baby must sleep in your room for the first 6 months). She also slept on the sofa whenever she visited as we did not have a spare room.
  • she made me so many drinks to keep me hydrated
  • she reassured me constantly
  • she told me how amazing I was doing – ALL the time!
  • she made me go for walks and get out of the house
  • she burped Freddie in her special way (we just didn’t/don’t have her bosom!)

And these were just a handful of deeds she did. She did so much more.

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I can honestly say I have never felt so much love for her. I can barely remember if we talked or spoke to one another. My hormones were raging, I was still in shock and my brain was trying to catch up with my body about that fact we had just given birth to a baby on the wooden living room floor. But, I do know that without her love it would have been so much harder. I can appreciate it now, the thread that is so strong between mother and child, an invisible force, intangible but palpable. It will be there for forever.  To make a human, grow and nurture it inside your body and then love that small person; the journey is full of alchemy and the love is like nothing I have ever felt before and at the age of 32 I can honestly say I felt it move from my mom to me , like both ends of a ribbon had been tied together. It feels like an exhale of breath signifying a true understanding – we are now part of the same club. It is still frightening but nearly 7 months in and I absolutely LOVE being Freddie’s mama. I feel so much stronger and confident and have learnt so much. I am certain there will always be an element of fear and slight self-doubt but in the same way I repeated my affirmations before birth, I am repeating some now:

‘I am enough’

‘You got this Mama’

‘Breathe and be calm’

To all the mums, watching over us, in heaven, on earth, near or far, new or old, step-mums, mother figures, grandmothers, mums- to- be….. you are, have been and will always be the most amazing people. Today is your day.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

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A mother’s love lasts forever and its bond can not be broken.

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